I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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