YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
