Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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