to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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