that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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