Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
