also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
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i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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