Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
