I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
