Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
