so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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