I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
