woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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