he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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