What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
