He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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