dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
