Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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