I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
