So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
