the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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