It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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