yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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