you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize