no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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