And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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