i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
