Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
