My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
