I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
