I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
