So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
