Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
