I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud đł
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying âFUCK YOUâ to all my spam emails. Canât tell you how excited I am
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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