It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
