Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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