He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
