dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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