So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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