your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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