Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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