I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize