I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
