So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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