remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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