You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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