I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
