Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize