Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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