Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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