i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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