I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
