So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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