Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize