dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize