Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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