I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
