party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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