are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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